From March 2010 to August 2015, we’ve been basically inseparable… for the most part. Our on again, off again relationship since August 2013, well, you knew it wasn’t going to be like it was in the good ole days, right? You knew it had to end eventually.
Tomorrow morning, I’m officially leaving you, even though we’ve already said our goodbyes. It’s weird, looking at you now. It’s like I don’t even recognize you.
Don’t be too upset. I inadvertently left some strands of hair and dead skin cells for you to remember me by. I might have left an old bobby pin too, if you’re lucky.
We’ve had a pretty decent run, you and me. Granted, we’ve had our differences. You weren’t always the nicest to me.
Remember how every summer you’d decide that I was too good for air conditioning and you basically forced me to sleep in the basement? And every winter you decided to keep it so cold that I needed at least 12 blankets or I was afraid I’d get frostbite? Thanks for that.
I guess I wasn’t the best person to you, either.
Remember that time when that bottle of aloe vera exploded all over you and left massive blue stains everywhere and regardless of how much stain cleaner I used, it just wouldn’t come out? Or when I decided rearranging my furniture was a good idea and then I left black marks all over you? Sorry about that.
Besides those things, you were great.
You’d let me jam out to everything from Wiz Khalifa to Jason Aldean and you wouldn’t really care. You didn’t mind having me clothes all over the floor when I was too lazy to do laundry. You’d let me vent about my frustrations and (hopefully) not judge me for them. You kept the light out when I was sick and wanted to sleep through the day. Because of all of those things and more, you were basically the best.
I’m sorry that I’m leaving you, but then again, I’m really not that sorry. I have bigger and better things to move on to. Sure, I’ll probably see you again, but I won’t hang around for long.
Best of luck to whoever you end up with next. Just remember, I wasn’t your first and I won’t be your last. Someone new will come into your life eventually. But, it just won’t be me.
Good luck out there.
“If only these walls could talk…”– Gregg Olsen